Monday, February 27, 2006

Badabing badabang badaboom

First and foremost, i'm all good now, not sick anymore. But my bud dennis thinks he's got the avian bird flu, and of course he's just kidding. I hope. But if u do get it, then i won't have to settle that 25 bucks i still owe ya haha.

I forgot what i wanted to write initially, maybe i'm still sick.

well, we won the carling cup! Glory glory man united!

i still can't recall what i wanted to write.

My shoulders are aching.

oh now i remembered! I'd have to cut short my planned long sleep this morning. Turned out that i had to accompany my neighbour to the workshop later at 9am, and its 2.30am now. Darn! Myabe i should have just pretended i was already asleep when the neighbours came from across the street. What happened was, earlier on sunday morning, my uncle came and picked me up in his Nissan Frontier because he had a flight to kuching. well, when he was reversing out from our house, he bumped into my neighbour's myvi and produced a nice dent. Well, they couldn't settle it there and then i guess, as he was rushing to the airport. So about 11.30pm earlier, my neighbour and their daughter (*clears throat* ahem) came over and talked to me about the workshop appointment.

All this could have been prevented, the accident, the appointment to the mechanic. If my uncle had stick to the original plan where i was to send him using one of my parents' car, then he wouldn't have knocked the myvi. If he hadn't knocked into the back of the myvi, i wouldn't have to wake up early at 8.30am later to see the mechanic with my neighbours. i don't care if their daughter was pretty. I need this sleep. trully, deeply, madly, badly. Maybe i could play sick later...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

That's about it for the weekend! have a nice week ahead everyone, anyone who's reading my blog anyway, and that's like ummm....5-6 of you?

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Don't want no ever-after kiss

We live in a small world. I live in a really small world. Sometimes it feels like major things are happening to me every minute in the life i'm living. And most of the time, i don't know what to make of them. And right now, i don't really know what i just wrote there.

I woke up this morning, feeling strange. I had this dream, that was strange obviously. I was first a bad guy sorta good guy and in the end it was the other way round. It felt good, in the dream that is being both of those characters. Though i liked the latter. So i spent most of the day thinking about the dream. Memories that makes me wanna laugh, at myself that is. A sad ending yet i found myself smilling.

I wrote a piece about doing the right thing some days back. As much as i believe and hold on to that, there were times doing the right thing brought disappointing endings. And mostly if not all, I was on the losing end. If given the chance to turn back time, i'd probably make different decisions. But then again, i have no regrets. Being at the back, together with all the losers ain't all that bad i guess, maybe i'm starting to get used to it. Maybe as i grow older, i've learnt to be happiest when others are happy and me feeling otherwise.

This is me signing off! Happy Thursday peoples :)

Monday, February 20, 2006

This thing and that thing

Okay this is a little late than i planned, but no harm done, this ain't no assignment with a due that..hah!!

As some of you may know, i sat for the PTD exams last wednesday and thursday. The night before,i guess i was a lil bit too excited for it, that i found it hard to sleep. So i attended the first of exams with a sleepy head, but it's all good, except for the last paper that day!!! Well, i had some fun in the morning sessions, interesting papers and questions. But the last one really had me gasping for air...almost literally. It's some sort of a problem-solving paper, that includes calculations and scenarios. I'm fine with scenarios, i mean, i imagine too much so it's no biggie. But on the other hand, i suck real bad with numbers. I'm talking about a guy who scored 4 out of 100...yes 4% in my business stats test back in college. But i prayed hard, and i'll just let God do the rest (fingers crossed!).

well, for this whole week, starting today till friday, i'll be caretaker CEO of the house. Mom left to Kuching for some course for that period. So it's both a good thing and a bad thing for me. Good, because i can have the other car for myself the whole day! That means i can go and have breakfast in town when i want to. But i guess the downside of it is really bad. Gotta feed dad and sis, yes you read me right. Gotta do the cooking for these 2 till friday. Lunch and dinner. If it was just gonna be me, i'd eat anything, even just rice with pusu or egg. But with dad and sis around, it's gonna be something decent, especially dinner. So for lunch today, i prepared rice with egg and leftover chicken soup for my sis. Not much of a problem, haha, as she doesnt eat much. Dinner on the other hand, were deep fried le sausages and canned sardines accompanied with onions. I'm planning a grand menu for tomorrow night, so these guys better eat then.

this particular paragraph is for this particular person, and i hope you're reading this, you'll know this is for you. I never said it'll be forever, never made any promises, never broke any promises. I did things selfishly for me and for you, but you never saw that. As i've told you, i'm just being cruel to be kind. I've apologised to you on a million things even when I wasn't wrong, and this will be my last. Sorry but you gotta fix yourself, i can't help, you have your own life, i'm moving on with mine. If you're still all bitter about this, ask yourself, why did i stay when i could go much earlier?

well, here's to a pleasant week for everybody!!! God bless, be good, and remember to flush the toilet after use.

PS: to JiwangGuy, aku tunggu kenak sponsor tok!!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Inch by Inch...for vindication

Today, or more accurately yesterday as its already past midnight, i received a letter from SPA (suruhanjaya perkhidmatan awam) or in english Public services department. Unlike the first letter i received from them last november, this time it's something. It was to inform me that there will be some tests conducted this Wednesday(tomorrow) and Thursday. Talk about great timing! Both good and bad, i'll explain later.

Sometime in september last year, i registered my application on the SPA website for 3 positions, one of it is Pegawai Tadbir & Diplomatik (Administration & Diplomatic Officer). Pretty much concerning planning etc for domestic & foreign policies of the country, and having the chance of joining the foreign service perhaps, such as serving at malaysian embassies abroad. This has been something i've been interested in, besides dreaming of being an analyst in the business world.

So the tests would be the first stage of my quest. After passing the tests, i would then be required to attend the Assesment Centre at INTAN (which i have no idea wth is that,but i know where it is in Kuching). ONLY after passing the Assesment, will i be attending the Interview. Pretty tough eh? And after i pass the interview and approved by the SPA, i will then officially be an Administration & Diplomatic Officer.

The process looks really tough indeed. Just to get an interview, i have to sit for some tests and be assessed at some place called INTAN. I've seen the sample questions, and it's not all easy. But like Al Pacino said in "Any Given Sunday"'s this game of inches, and these stages are the inches. Despite being a tough quest ahead for me, I believe i can do it, inch by inch. I quote "In any’s the guy who’s willing to die who’s gonna win that inch." So that's what i'm gonna do, i will do my very best through those stages. Dum Spiro, Spero.

Okay i said i was going to talk about the timing thingy. Good because i was starting to get a bit discouraged and demotivated about my maybank application. So this letter, is like a ray of light into a darkness where i am. So i have this strong feeling that, this is my moment of vindication. This is it, right now, right here. Bad? because the letter arrived awfully late, 13/2 when the tests would be on the 15th and 16th. It would have been nice to have a couple of days more to prepare for it. But i'm all for it, i'm all fired up, I will fight for that inch.

That's what i'm gonna do.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Cartoons & Love

In my previous post "Do the right thing", i wrote about the issue that resulted from prophet muhamad's cartoon published in european papers. And i also mentioned that i dont buy the idea of killing innocent civilians in the name of whatever god, as a righteous act, NO MATTER what the justification is.

So i opened yesterday's papers (being a bit late as my dad suscribes to Sarawak Tribune, and you all know what happened to the paper,will write about that later) and after reading through a few pages, i came across a report regarding Iran's largest selling newspaper's intention to hold a competition where people would compete to draw cartoons of the Holocaust (you all know what the Holocaust is, i assume, if not then read it up). So i thought to my self, "what's this??". It just shows how shallow some people can be, you can't get any lower than that. I would use the article on as my reference, here is the first paragraph of the article:

Iran's largest selling newspaper has announced it is holding a contest on cartoons of the Holocaust in response to the publishing in European papers of caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad.

"It will be an international cartoon contest about the Holocaust," Farid Mortazavi, the graphics editor for Hamshahri newspaper, which is published by Tehran's conservative-run municipality, said on Monday.

He said the plan was to turn the tables on the assertion that newspapers can print offensive material in the name of freedom of expression.

Clearly meant to be an eye for an eye, fighting fire with fire, and not to mention to be so f***ed up as to go so low. As you may know, Iran does not believe the Holocaust ever happened and branded it a myth. Personally i don't care what these people think, being fanatical zealots .

I do not know who else may be reading this, if you are a Muslim, you may have been offended by what i've written so far. Cant blame you guys for that, in my previous post i stated my disagreement regarding the publishing of the Prophet's cartoons as well. So i hope you read this by looking from all angles. For the record, I have not studied the Quran therefore I do not have extensive knowledge on what Islam teaches. But i do know, from what is being said in television, newspapers, magazines etc that Islam preaches about peace and tolerance. And from news reports all around the Muslim world lately, i don't see that. I have to add though here in Malaysia, no violent protests have occured, which is a good thing. And again i repeat this, TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT. And it won't make that Iranian newspaper a better one than the european papers. Nor its editor Farid Mortazavi, a better person than his european equivalents.

Again, i do not mean to offend anyone. Just my personal views on the issue.

Ok, back to the local front. As some of you may know, the publication Sarawak Tribune has been suspended by the Malaysian Govt till further notice, as result of publishing a blurry small sized extract of the cartoons. On one hand i agree that it shouldn't have been published in the first place, on the other, i strongly believe this has been blown out of proportion by those politicians and people in West malaysia. Whom i also believe that 99.999999% did not and have not seen the extract in the Tribune. It is small that if one is glancing throught the pages, he/she would not have noticed it.

The Tribune has a sentimental value for me. Not just being the oldest paper in Sarawak or even Borneo but because i practically gew up with the paper. And ever since a couple of years back, the paper has published news reports/pictures of happenings in my hometown, Limbang. So it's always nice to read these stuffs when i was studying in Kuching, even though most the reports are total crap or nothing of importance, BUT still it's about my hometown. Have any other newpapers done that? Borneo Post? Very seldom. NST? The Star? Berita Harian? and the terribly biased Utusan Malaysia? These people over there don't give a rat's ass. Okay finally my emotions is starting to manifest :p. After the publishing of the cartoons, the paper have published an official and public apology in the front page. In fact, they did this for a couple of days. Guess sometimes saying sorry isn't enough. (Funny when people demand guilty parties in issues such as this to issue a public apology, but when that was done, it's not enough) Here's my bonanza question, what about those politicians who have been saying racist and insensitive statements about the nation's minorities in the press and parliament? As far as i know, no action has ever been taken against them. Got you thinking eh....

I intended to write a totally different thing today, something nice and thoughtful. but after reading yesterday's paper, i decided to write this piece. Will i get into big trouble as a consequence of writing this? I hope not. Will a complaint be lodged against me by some pissed off dude who reads this? Touch wood.

To end on a lighter note, i just realised that February is called the month of love. Sounds awfully corny dont you think? I do, gave me the shivers when i see it on TV and newspapers. So in the midst of all these emotions of hate anger, why don't we all show each other some love? :)


Thursday, February 09, 2006

A piece of me

Okay, let me just start by saying that i don't know what to write, i'm just writing for the sake of writing something tonight.

oh...guess what? if you've noticed, i've changed the template of my blog. I got bored of the previous template, so i thought i needed a change of scenery, or something like that. So now it looks like, i don't know, like a yuppie's blog? with the colorful dots and all (rasa cool lah tek). Though not really my taste, it looks okay. I miss the large title though, and my links have disappeared as well.

I keep wondering, how many people actually read my blog. Not that it matters, cause i didnt start writing this especially for others, but for a place where i could just write away. A sanctuary, a place to find solace, whatever you call it. But still, i wonder, who actually reads my crappings? From the comments given, i know that there are at least 4 of my buddies reading this hehehe thanks people!!! But on a regular basis, maybe 2? Melody was kind enough to place a link for this page at her blog, and Roy keeps asking me when will i update my blog everytime we see each other online. And maybe there are others who do read my postings every now and then as well, thanks for reading.

Moving on, I guess i picked up a new hobby. More like something i've longed to do for a long long long long time. That is "taking pictures"...or the more decent and professional term, "Photography". And i must say that i'm proud of my initial effort with a real digicam (bye bye handphone cam) have been good :). Got thumbs up from a few people that i've shared some of the photos with :) YAYS!!! I'll post of couple of em photos here in my next post, need to resize em first, which i'm quite lazy to do so now.

Wow, from nothing in my head, i've written 3 paragraphs already. Okay that should do it :p. Cheers!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Do the right thing

and that's what we should be doing more often. On many occasions we hear people and ourselves saying,"Follow your heart." "do as your heart tells you to do." "Do what's best for you." etc etc etc. Well it ain't really a bad thing, nor is it wrong to say such things. I mean, i myself have said such words previously.

But at a certain point, i found out that following your heart isn't always the best thing to do. Or should i say, isn't the RIGHT thing to do. The heart, the centre of our being, is an amazing thing. From our hearts, we express compassion, sympathy, love and such. Wonderful things. But, the heart isn't perfect. It has its flaws and limits. And it doesn't tell you the truth at all times. The heart, is like the mind, it can be influenced pretty easy if not guarded. But unlike the mind, the heart is a much stronger influence on us humans.

What i'm trying to say is, time after time, we have been making decisions, taking actions etc by following our instincts, following our heart and be guided by emotions. At times, it would be alright to do so. But for many times, by doing so, we have not been doing the right thing. Doing the right thing, is like the telling truth. It won't always be nice and easy. It won't be all roses for everyone. It can hurt. It can cause an adverse effect. But is the right thing.

Pardon me for my writting skills aren't top drawer, and i don't seem to know where i'm going with this myself. Just a thought that crossed my mind.

A couple of days ago, the moslem world have been rocked by the cartoons depicting prophet mohammed in a danish newspaper, and since then being republished in papers in other western countries. Even the Sarawak tribune on it's saturday edition published a mini-scale version of the cartoon. The cartoon was reportedly depicting the prophet as carrying out violence (bombings etc) as a joke.

I would like to point out where i stand, first, i'm not a moslem and second, i'm not a pro-west person. Okay, it is insulting for one to publish publicly cartoons as such, that concerns religious elements. So yeah, while as a Christian i have seen illustrations/cartoons that jokes about the Christian faith, it doesn't really bother me to the extent of experiencing hatred. As different religion, maybe it's just normal for the moslems to react the way they are now. Invited guests (moslem personalities) on news channels have condemned the newspaper, and we also see news from the moslem nations where there are street protests etc etc.

Alright so they're pissed, that's understandable. But that led me to have some confusion about certain things. We all know what happened during 9-11 and its aftermath, the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq by Coalition troops (led by the United States). We all have watched the twin towers burning and the horrors that followed. In Iraq after the war, we all have watched innocent civilians, mostly westerners have been abducted by so-called 'freedom fighters' and terrorist groups on tv. And a few times, we have witnessed them being beheaded. All in the name of Jihad.

Understandably, the West and America especially have grown wary about the teaching of Jihad in the moslem faith. It is seen as inciting violence and so forth. And of course, moslems have voiced out that these westerners have misunderstood their religion. Islam is a religion that teaches peace, they say. Okay point taken.

Here's what i wanna say, i can bet that quite a few of those who are protesting about the cartoon have also celebrated publicly when 9-11 happened. When they saw that the "Great Satan" (United States) was attacked and the "infidels" at the twin towers died. And maybe some have been joyful (not publicly) when learning of western civilians in Iraq being killed/beheaded. Sorry, i just don't buy the idea that killing innocent cilivians, even as an act of vengeance can be considered as a righteous act.

So i ask this, if the religion does not teaches and condone violence, where are the protests?

PS: No, the US and european nations aren't Christian nations, they do not impose Christian laws nor do they have religious police to enforce the religious laws. And two wrongs don't make a right, peoples. I apologize if I have offended you, and i stress that i did not mean to offend anyone.

(please note that there were no name-callings and insulting words)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

GONG XI FA CAI was the Lunar New Year, a few days ago that is.
so i would still like to wish ya'll gong xi fa cai.
well it was a nice one, for the first time in 3-4 years, im celebrating it here back in Limbang. Ain't nothing like home, especially being together with the rest of the Yeo family (those that made it here) at Kong Kong's house.